Writing in the Midst of Life

It’s amazing the difference a year can make in a writing career. Last year at this time I was counting down the days to conference, fretting over one sheets and pitches and which agents I’d be talking to.

This year I haven’t had much time to think about the conference, though I’ve helped plan the workshops, assisted in organizing the authors that will be at the massive book signing at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, and planned a late night chat with Cara Putman on Writing Buddies.

We’ve been too busy with packing and fixing up our home to sell for me to fret over my own stuff. Luckily I have an agent who has already sent my proposal to eight editors, so for the most part, I’m just going to be talking up my manuscript and enjoying the fellowship and educational opportunities!

What a difference a year makes! Last year I was stressed and slightly worried, this year I know God has everything in the palm of his hand, from my writing career to my house sale and every mundane thing in between.

What a difference the peace of God makes!

If you’re going to ACFW Minneapolis this week, please leave a comment and don’t hesitate to stop me and say hello!

I have an agent!

If you’ve been following my quest for an agent, then you know all about. If not you can read all about it! But the abbreviated version is that I’ve been prayerfully considering which agents I’d submit my proposal to.

I narrowed it down to two, got to know these agents over a course of two to three years, and when I had a finished WIP, I pitched them at an ACFW conference. They both requested it, and I spent the next year agonizing over how I would choose between the two. Being the coward that I can be at times, I prayed that only one would want to represent me while fully aware that either both or neither would want to touch this newbie!

Well, God answered my prayers and guided my path. And now I have an agent before ACFW, which was my goal.

Who is my agent? Chip MacGregor.

It’s so clear to me now how the hand of God was nudging me toward him from the time I met him and heard God speak to my heart saying, “Maybe the agent you want is not the one you need” to the time I showed up early to meet with another agent and Chip had just had a cancellation. That’s when I pitched my WIP and the ball started rolling.

I had certain criteria I was looking for in an agent and Chip fit the bill. I’m excited to work with him for a number of reasons, but mostly because God not only knew what I needed in an agent, but ultimately he gave me get exactly what I wanted as well!

God is soooo amazing and so faithful. If you’ve been following my posts on agents then you know last ACFW I met with two and they both were interested in my proposal. After meeting with these two I started to think about the different scenarios. What if they both wanted to represent me? I admired and respected both agents and really went through a couple of weeks of angst over the thought of having to choose. Then reality set in, what if neither of them wanted me?

I decided not to worry about it and just write the best story I could, though I really wished and prayed that only one would be interested in representing me.

Nine months later, I sent my WIP off and heard from one agent right away. He was interested in the story, but wanted me to change a few things. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Then he wanted to meet at ICRS. So we met, I explained the reason for wanting to keep the story the way it was, and he was okay with it. You can read my last post for more details on the meeting.

But I still hadn’t heard from the other agent. So I sent off an email, telling him of the other agent was interested but I wanted to hear what he had to say. He responded a couple of days later with the best rejection I could have asked for.

To summarize, he said even though he liked me and thought I had “enormous potential” he didn’t feel he could represent the project. He gave me his reasons why and told me he wants to see me succeed and that some day he hopes he could say I was the “one that got away.”

I was actually beaming as I read this rejection. This particular agent was someone I’d been following for several years. In fact he was the only agent I wanted until I met agent number two two years ago and God spoke to me very clearly saying “What if the agent you want isn’t the agent you need.”

After coming to terms with that, I did open up to God’s will for me. Now looking back, I really see God’s hand in all of this, how if I hadn’t had an appointment with agent number 1 and showed up 15 minutes earlier, I might not have gotten to meet with agent number 2 who suddenly had an opening!

I’m still in awe that God honored my desire to not have to choose. One agent said yes, the other said no. God’s handprint is very visible and I’ve never been so happy to be rejected! Not that I wouldn’t have loved to have agent number 1, but that I didn’t have to choose!

My meeting with the agent went better than I expected. Of course, after we parted I thought of half a dozen questions to ask him. But he’ll be emailing me next week.

The things that stood out to me:

He really likes my writing, and I’m the only unpubbed author he’s looking at right now.

He understands my story better, thought it had a romance angle (which it doesn’t) and wouldn’t be interested in it if he thought he couldn’t sell it.

So what’s keeping me from jumping on this opportunity, not much, except another agent (a good friend of his) has the proposal and I’d like to hear from him before I make my final decision. This agent is aware that the other one has it, so I’ll take this vacation to pray and mull it over, maybe send the agent another email and then, who knows! Maybe I’ll hav

I’m at ICRS in Orlando, and today I’m meeting with agent number one per his request. We’ll be “discussing” my WIP and probably brainstroming the changes he’d like me to make. I’m not sure what will come of this meeting, maybe I can find a compromise to my WIP I can live with. Something that is marketable and sticks to the heart of my story.

Or maybe I’ll get a phone call or email from agent number two begging me to sign with him and keep my WIP as is!

You’re not buying it, me neither!

But, hey, I write fiction and have a great imagination!

It’s been a little over a month since I sent out my WIP to the two agents. The one sent via email responded within one week. You can read the previous post on that one. The second, I’m still waiting to hear from.

For all I know it could be on his pile of TBR (to be read) or maybe like a friend of mine, he read it and it’s sitting on his floor as he debates what to do with it and me! In the mean time I entered this WIP Stiletto contest. Not sure if it’s technically a chicklit story,  but I the protag was snarky and sassy enough that it could go that way. To me, it’s a mystery with humor. So we’ll see where that all goes.

I haven’t been to positive on contest. Seems like all the ones I enter I get really high scores and one really and maybe one in the middle. But that kills my average and I don’t make it to the finals. In the past I’ve entered for the feedback and have been very disappointed when the judges barely tell you how to fix your work. I even was thankful about the low, low score I received when other pubbed authors gave it a 91/99. At least the low score gave me things I could improve.

Not sure that I’m expecting from Stiletto.

I had the opportunity to attend a Cecil Murphy mentoring clinic. $500! I debated and went back and forth. I could scrounge up the money, but when all was said and done, I didn’t have the passion to do it. It was more like “I should do this” instead of “I really want to do this.” I’m sure I’ll get another opportunity some other time in my writing career.

Until then, I’ll keep waiting, and writing…

I heard back from one agent! Funny thing is after reading his email I didn’t feel any real emotion! I guess because it was neither a rejection or an acceptance. To paraphrase he said, good start, good hook, good story…then he suggested two things:

1) that I find a fiction editor to help me tighten my writing. (Sounds reasonable if I can afford it!)

2) That my married protag becomes single and finds a love interest. AKA Romantic suspense!

ACK! That number two got me! Not because I’m not open to changing and editing, BUT I don’t want my protag to be single. I don’t want to write a romantic suspense. I don’t want to feel like I’m selling out for an easy sell!

Does that make sense? I don’t really enjoy reading romantic suspenses so why would I want to write one? For me, they’re too predictable. Single protag has issues with single guy, they dance around their attraction…maybe while solving a murder or running for a killer…until they realize their love…before or after the hero saves her! Sorry to all your romantic suspense lovers, but BLECK!

I can see where this agent is coming from. He says it would make my story an easier sell! And he’s right. So there in lies the decision. Do I want to make it an easier sell just for the sake of getting published, OR do I want to stick with my heart and leave this story as is? I have another story that is a mystery with an element of romance, and I’m fine with that one because that’s how I wrote it.

If I changed this current WIP to a single protag, it changes the whole motivation and makes it weaker in my opinion. Plus the issues she faces with attractions toward an other man (yes, why she’s still married! Come on, I know there are people out there married with old loves they just quite haven’t gotten over) wouldn’t be as edgy and complicate to the story.

But I’m not too concerned at this point. I want to mull it over, let it simmer, and see what the other agent has to say. Maybe when I do, I’ll start to feel the agita in the pit of my stomach. Until then…life is sweet!

I sent it off! Two weeks ago. After polishing and editing and correcting and polishing, I sent it off to the two agents who requested it! You can read all about what happened it those agent meetings at ACFW in early posts under CONFERENCES!

But it’s off and I have such a peace! At this point (just sending it off) I’m not anxious. Not. Anxious. At. All! Maybe this is God setting me up for a huge red light on my writing. And if so, at this point in time, I’m okay with it. Of course, I’ll still be writing and plotting stories in my head. But my drive to be published isn’t there. All in God’s time! And I have such a peace about it.

I’ve realized that during my pursuit to publication over these last four years, I’ve missed out so much with my children. Being a divided mom has made me a not-so-good mom, oftening choosing the computer instead of spending time PLAYING with my children. I’m hoping to change that this summer…and get my house in order…physically, emotionally, and spiritually!

So is this the beginning or the slowing down of my writing career. Only God knows. How I wish I was one of those mom who can really do it all! But I’m beginning to see, I can’t. At least not know, and I’m okay with that. If I get an agent, if I get a contract, I will learn to juggle it all. But I only want it if God thinks it’s best for my family. Your will be done, Lord.

I don’t say that lightly. Infact, I say that with tears in my eyes beause I know He could be closing the door on this season of publication pursuing! And I’m okay with that! At least, I’m okay with that right now!

It’s like that old saying, “Too many cooks spoil the broth.”

I’m at that point in my WIP where I’m doing last minute tweaking and trying to get feedback from lots of different people in anticipation of sending it off in a couple days/weeks! It’s been a long time since I sent something off, mainly because I haven’t had a finished WIP to send off. God interrupted my last WIP, the one I became so obsessed with publication while writing it. But before God held up his divine stop sign, I was right where I am now. Steeped in insecurity, wanting my WIP to be perfect, but slowly realizing I could send it out to 100 people and everyone will have a different opinion.

I’m not really a perfectionist. It’s just I’ve sent stuff out before it was ready and got several rejections. I blew it with a certain WIP and certain publishing houses and the lesson taught me not to rush things. Now I’m going on seven months of edits since the agents requested it at ACFW, and I’m feeling the pressure to get it out ASAP.

My biggest fear: That the WIP I’ve just spent the last 18 months on will not even get a full manuscript request and though I know it’s a journey, my fear is I might not have the energy (or family support emotionally and financially) for the next leg of the journey.

I haven’t looked at my WIP in about a week due to school responsibilities. I’m going to sneak a peak today while Grace (5) is in gymnastics. My last crit was good. It was from someone who really didn’t connect with my main character. It was from a friend and Genesis finalist, someone who I respect. So I’m giving her concerns some honest contemplation time. I also heard from another friend, Genesis finalist, who I respect. Her advice was to be true to my story. I know my main character is not sympathetic, but she’s relatable. She’s not a Christian, is angry with God, is self-centered, but she loves her friends and family, helps her colleagues and never says no to someone in need. She doesn’t always act appropriately, and often acts in anger, but she needs to be who she is so she can go on her journey. So she can hit bottom.

I know there’s tons of room for improvement, but I’ve exhausted all I know on this WIP. Next time I will do better. Biggest hope/prayer: That someone will see something in me and my WIP to want to invest in me. Biggest, biggest fear: That my biggest hope/prayer won’t happen.

But I’ll never know unless I get it out there!

I know it’s been a long time, and I should have updated this sooner, but I’ll give it my best shot and conclude what has turned into a series.

I tried to get a meeting with Chip MacGregor, but he was all booked. I put my name on a list in case something opened up. Later I returned 15 minutes early before my meeting with Steve Laube to go to the prayer room. I settled in, and opened the bible, but before I could really enage in anything spiritual, a friend comes in the room and calls me out. I had no clue why I would be ushered out of the prayer room, but she informed me Chip had an opening, now! So I gathered my stuff and thoughts and sat down with Chip. I don’t think I really pitched, but I do remember him reading my proposal and him making suggestions, correction my commas misplacement, me hoping my face wasn’t beat red, etc. I’m a visual person, so while the images of that meeting is etched in my memory, the conversation isn’t. The most important part is that he requested it!

When the meeting was over, I ran across the hall and met with Steve. He looked over my proposal and first chapter, gave me suggestions, and asked me to send it in. I know it’s a very abreviated version of what really happened, but the most important part of the meetings is that I felt very comfortable talking with both agents, and walked away feeling good about the meeting and the request.

Fast forward seven months and I’m still pounding away on the keys, tweaking, and fretting about actually sending this WIP out. After ACFW Steve emailed me. We emailed back and forth and the words that stuck with me was (and this is a loose quote) “a great book can’t be rushe.” Well, I haven’t rushed. And I hope my book is great. But there’s still a few more things I have to do before I can send it out!